We are coming up on our year mark of parenting. As a side note when I was telling my dad that we were going to be celebrating surviving a year of parenting he said, "You know it doesn't just stop after one year...it goes on and on and on and then they move in with you!" I think he thought we were a little too gleeful about Emory's first birthday.
So here I am one year ago almost exactly. I look fairly happy in the picture, despite being the size of a whale. I must have been getting more sleep. Sleep will solve anything.
The last part of this year has been very difficult for me personally, note the lack of blogs as evidence! I had no idea how a new school doing the same job would challenge me. I am reevaluating everything I know and believe about teaching, reading some wonderful books on teaching and learning, and trying to put into my practices some new techniques that will move me to the new level as a teacher. This is exhausting and depressing. As you come to understand what teaching is actually about you feel horrible about the way you taught for 10 years! On the other hand the kids learned some stuff so I guess I should try to let go of that guilt. There are times when I am torn with being a mom and being a teacher. Should I run home to my baby who wants me or finish this discussion? But now I realize that all those kids I teach are other people's little babies and they are probably praying every night that I put their babies first sometimes.
I find that I have only a little sorrow as I watch Emory get older. It was wonderful to concentrate on my tiny baby for a year and now it is also wonderful to watch him toddle and play and be able to rededicate myself to my career (at least during the hours of 8-4) I watch Aimee start all over with Serena and admire her courage. It was one thing to do that when you didn't know what was coming, walking into it knowing??? Well that is a different kind of experience.
Gabe and I are more one than before. We faced some minor health issues as well as a new baby and it was a good learning experience about marriage and the powerful force of love. I used to equate love with romantic dinners and good conversation. Now, sometimes love is saying to other person, "Why don't you watch TV or have a bath while I play with the baby." Love is realizing that there is more cleaning than can ever be done in the house so we should probably just keep doing it and not worry about the cause. Love is giving up your pool table to make a living space and cutting down on pool nights to take care of your family.
So this friday we will celebrate the first brithday of our little guy, but at the same time we are also celebrating the growth in ourselves, our relationship in our marriage, and our hope in the future years of parenting. The party starts at 5 PM- join us for Appetizers, drinks, and deserts!
Thanks to everyone who reads the blog and helps us by caring about us from afar or down the street.
