In which I am nervous and hope the greek gods can intervene.

Mom wanted to watch Emory for me a little this week to get back into the swing of things. He has changed a lot since May! I took the oppurtunity to go back to school and start getting my classroom into shape. I should have taken my therapist! All those horrible emotions that summer erased came back. Fear, Anxiety, nervousness, and ANGER ANGER ANGER. I've never felt this at the end of the summer. I've always been excited and eager to return to school. I used to love it so much. I remember at the beginning of last year thinking about how great a teacher I was and being a little excited to show off to new colleagues. Yes I know that is a horrible immodest thought! But now the gods must be punishing me because....now I wonder if I can do it at all. Ebee and I used to make offerings to Apollo on test days to help us get through World history (no doubt actually reading the texbook would have worked as well) Who do I speak to to get back some self confidence? Is there a muse of teaching? I think about standing in front of all those parents who desperately want to believe that I can do this really important thing and educate their children. Why should they trust me? I don't.

To combat these feelings I make a new calendar and fill it with beautiful pictures and words of hope.